FORGIVENESS: Choosing To Forgive

No one likes to talk about forgiveness, because for most people I think it has a religious connotation. But the dictionary definition of "forgive" is "to stop feeling angry or resentful towards something." And I'm sure many people have managed to do that. I know I have, and I know how hard it is. To let go of feeling wronged is probably the hardest part. I had been living with a friend for two years and many things he was doing were really bothering me—I felt they weren't good for him emotionally or physically, and I hated being around the consequences. I started to get very angry in my interactions with him. We finally had a blow-up, and when he pointed out that I was behaving badly, too, I was flabbergasted. All my righteous (or so I thought) indignation vanished and I realized that, no matter how irritated I may get, I ultimately loved my friend and wanted to continue to live with him. It's true that "to love is to forgive all." And to forgive feels great. After a long conversation, my friend looked at me and said, "I'm so glad we could let go of all that. I feel like I've shed a skin." I had to agree. And while we've had fights since then, the moment of catharsis I had when I decided to forgive has always stayed with me.